The link between self love and happiness isn’t new. Some of my favourite quotes on the topic are indeed centuries old, and come from the wisest of souls.
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And, if not now, when?"
Hillel (famous religious leader of the fifth century)
And the Buddha said;
"You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserves your love and affection."
And yet, we have a bad habit of associating self love with selfishness.
In reality it's quite the opposite. “It is only through knowing, trusting & loving ourselves, that we are capable of giving our best to others”. Yvette Mayer!
Not to be melodramatic, but you come into the world on your own, and will leave in the exact same way. YOU remain the star and lead player of your entire show, it’s your show. To play this part effectively, it’s mission critical you recognise this fact: nobody is coming to save you. Your experience is uniquely yours and always will be.
I’ve made it my mission to understand what it means to truly LOVE YOURSELF HAPPY. After years of doing anything but, it was only after facing my mortality (breast cancer) and in my mid 40’s, that the pieces began to fall into place. Truly loving myself, I now realise was the final missing piece.
From a place of extreme passion for what I've learned - these days, I’m a self proclaimed #happinessinfluencer. And I'm here to spread the word, far and wide.
Without further ado, I give you, my top 10 steps, to loving yourself happy:
Lead yourself to happiness. You were a born leader, but how well do you lead yourself? It's 100% on you to take responsibility for your happiness. Think of yourself as the CEO of your life.
Take care of you…..first. The oxygen mask theory is the foundation of self care. It's absolutely critical to adopt daily self love practices. Including, loving your future self.
Master your mindset. You keep hearing that mindset is everything. Wanna know why? It’s scientifically proven to be a success factor, and it's something you can work on and improve. Having a killer mindset will transform how you think & feel about yourself, your role in the world and how happy you feel.
Own your super powers. If I asked you what you’re uniquely awesome at, could you tell me? Reconnecting with your authentic self, will unlock more passion and purpose - hello fulfilment (which pretty much means happiness!). Think back to your childhood. What gifts are you suppressing?
Give more than you get. In your relationships and beyond. We get more joy from giving than receiving, it’s a fact…..so take a step back. There are opportunities all around you to give love, be of service, contribute, make a positive impact and build a lasting legacy.
Develop a good relationship with money. If money stresses you out, you’re not alone, it's on the list of the top 5 life stressors. It's a relationship that you can work on and improve. Unpacking your beliefs and working specifically on your money mindset, are key steps in the right direction.
Build the courage to be you. What if you know yourself, but fear your full expression? Maybe you worry, nobody will love you anymore if you change....It’s time to work on your courage muscle. Yes courage is a muscle, that you can grow. Start with baby steps and work your way up to standing proud in all your authentic glory.
Set goals, underpinned with plans and daily actions (habits) & achieve them. The happiest people you know have high self respect. They look to the future, rather than the past. They get creative in considering what’s possible, set goals and show up for them self. Every move in the right direction is a signal to your soul - that you're worth it.
Understand your intrinsic motivation style and harness it. When it comes to motivation, we’re not created equal. In simple terms, you may be internally motivated (self directed) or externally motivated (you show up for others more than yourself). In Gretchen Rubins model ‘the four tendencies’s she expands on this further - take her quiz - if the answer doesn’t come easily. None are wrong or right, but knowing your tendency can help you achieve more.
Accept yourself, just as you are You’re perfectly imperfect, like every other human on the planet. Here’s another thing we all have in common. We get to start again, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. Today is the first day, of the rest of your life.
Did you enjoy this list but are stuck wondering - awesome, but HOW do I do all of these things? I’ve got some exciting news for you, if you happen to be reading this in Feb 2020.
Registrations are open now for 'PLANIT HAPPY, the love yourself happy course'. An 8 week program designed to show in the simplest of ways, how to take every single step above.
This course is unique, in that not only will you learn how to love yourself happy, you will also build a plan to keep you on track for the long term. This is your PLANIT HAPPY blueprint.
So take the next right step and click through to find out more. You wont regret it, that's a promise.
